📄 Weird Game.txt
Posted: 05/03/2026
I came across a cd in my dads old stuff. It seems to be an early build of a game called FieldState? I can't seem to find anything about it online but I know my dad worked for a company called ORC Interactive. ORC Interactive were a small independent game studio that was active during the 2000's, that's what my dad told me anyways I cant find anything online about them. I uploaded a video to my channel of me playing the first 2 levels, lemme know what you guys think, it kinda freaked me out
📄 A Good Week.txt
Posted: 28/02/2026
I had a really good week this week. Managed to make it to all my classes, been super productive and to be honest I attribute a lot of that to my lack of screen time. I think the lack of constant scrolling has started to allow me to be more mindful and I crave being productive now that the cheap dopamine hits are gone. I'm also seeing less handlers (might be related, if people want me to I can go more in depth about handlers but noone reads this anyway :-)). Started work on a video for my boyfriend for our anniversary. Just gonna be a collection of clips from the camcorder that I'm gonna burn to a DVD. Gonna be suuuuper gay lowkey. But yeah, that's basically been my week, really happy with it to be honest and I want to keep these habits going.
📄 Day 1.txt
Posted: 26/02/2026
Day 1 of the digital minimalism experiment went really well, reduced my screen time down to about an hour. I read a book on the bus (Meditations by Descartes). I felt far more present in my day to day life and was wayyyy more productive during my classes. Right now I just need to get used to being bored, I need to get use to the lack of dopamine that I've become accustomed to. Very excited for this change in my life.
📄 Minimalism.txt
Posted: 24/02/2026
Really thinking about going full digital minimalist. I've already dumbified my iPhone, loaded all my music onto an old Blackberry for an mp3 player (with bluetooth) and got a notepad. Gonna be trialing out this workflow for the next week, I'm just sick and tired of being so addicted to my phone. Just planning on reading, listening to music and recording stuff on my camcorder. Digital minimalism is all about intentionality. It's about not getting distracted by the dopamine dealer that is the modern smartphone. I need to lock in for college and I think this is a good start. I will be updating this blog with how it goes.
📄 Positivity.txt
Posted: 24/02/2026
Locked in crazy style today, it's only half 12 and got a shit ton of college work done, cleaned my room and went outside for a bit. I know it doesn't sound like much for most people but for me and the way i
've been feeling that's really positive for me. Last night shit got a little bit dark (check last post) but today is a new day :-). Still got to do some more college work but it shouldn't be too bad, just gotta finish up a software design document. Easy friggin peasy.
📄 Maggots.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
i carry my guilt like pennance. i think it will absolve me, but it doesn't. it sits on my chest like concrete and eats at my soul like a rat. somewheere along the way i decided that if i suffered enough it would count as payment. pain would balance the scales
i know how to carry guilt. i've been doing it most of my life, what i dont know how to carry is something quieter. the possibility that forgiveness is not earned through suffering, but through change. that absolution might require me to put the weight down.
and yet the maggots will make a home in my ribcage and none of it will matter.
📄 Therapy.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
I've got my first therapy appointment in about an hours time, It's a specialised service for the treatment of psychosis (which unfortunately I do suffer with). I'm really nervous especially because this week has been especially rough. I know it'll go fine, just the idea of someone digging in my head is somewhat nervewracking. I do have an old dvd camcorder coming in the mail though so thats something to look forward too. Updating this blog is something to look forward to. Seeing my boyfriend is something to look forward to. Lots of things to look forward to :-).
📄 First Post.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
I need to work out how NeoCities works tbh. It seems really cool tho and the community it seems to have is really tight-knit. This blog is basically just to vent about my frustrations or ponderings of the day :-).
