📄 Maggots.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
i carry my guilt like pennance. i think it will absolve me, but it doesn't. it sits on my chest like concrete and eats at my soul like a rat. somewheere along the way i decided that if i suffered enough it would count as payment. pain would balance the scales
i know how to carry guilt. i've been doing it most of my life, what i dont know how to carry is something quieter. the possibility that forgiveness is not earned through suffering, but through change. that absolution might require me to put the weight down.
and yet the maggots will make a home in my ribcage and none of it will matter.
📄 Therapy.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
I've got my first therapy appointment in about an hours time, It's a specialised service for the treatment of psychosis (which unfortunately I do suffer with). I'm really nervous especially because this week has been especially rough. I know it'll go fine, just the idea of someone digging in my head is somewhat nervewracking. I do have an old dvd camcorder coming in the mail though so thats something to look forward too. Updating this blog is something to look forward to. Seeing my boyfriend is something to look forward to. Lots of things to look forward to :-).
📄 First Post.txt
Posted: 23/02/2026
I need to work out how NeoCities works tbh. It seems really cool tho and the community it seems to have is really tight-knit. This blog is basically just to vent about my frustrations or ponderings of the day :-).
